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Security/For-sure-ity and the Marmite Menace

September 27, 2010

Another friend of mine, Sergio Sandoval-Goodfellow, sent me this plaint about his experiences with that wonderful community of people, airport security staff:

*My border experience was not fun!   I went looking for Marmite - a well
known British addiction - and found a bottle (125 ml) at Safeway and
happily paid the $ 4.95.**  When I got home, Ma said "Oh! I have a
virtually empty bottle you can have."  And when she said,virtually
empty, she was not exaggerating.  The only way to get recover the
remaining Marmite, would be to redissolve it and re-dry it ... ah
well, it's the thought that counts ...

Taxi to bus; wait for bus; bus to terminal; bus to airport: fiddle
with the check - in computer and on to security .... all's going
well, well sort of ... the system was set up by an insecure
carpenter - "Check once, and then check again.  If in doubt,
check again" - one chap had to check that I had a metal clip
to close the zipper on my pants as not a ninja knife and that
the knee brace was a knee brace and not a secret weapon ... and
then the seated fellow, the chap watching TV - they were all
rent-a-cops, no TSA today - bounced up and said accusingly:
"You have two bottles!"  Sure enough we rummaged around and
the two Marmite bottles came out where he expected them to be ...
He took them and held them with hands like pincers - no he was
not going to let me touch them until I was out of the security
area - and informed me that they were over 100ml and a major
no - no ... no there was no chance to say that the large one
was virtually empty, nor ... nor anything ... he'd had his
instructions and wasn't listening  ...

While I don't remember his exact words, in essence it was:
"You can chuck 'em or go back to the check in and check the
with your bag!"  He was going to brook no debate, he was out
to save the world - or may be it was something more mundane ...
his job - Frustrated and POed, I stormed out to the check-in
desk where the professionally delightful and charming woman
kindly informed me that that would be $ 25 to check the bag,
please...Needless to say, I launched both bottles into her trash
can with all the noise I could muster and stormed off muttering ...
went through security again.  Brace ... clip on trousers ...
passport ... and finally through to a restaurant, a turkey,
Swiss on whole wheat, and "Are you sure you really don't want a donut?
They're very good!" ... safety and security at last.

** This story is only understandable to Canadians of British ancestry.


Post - security restaurant at the Arequipa, Peru airport - not so bad after you
make it past the barricades
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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Bruce permalink
    September 27, 2010 11:32 pm

    May I see your passport, please…..

Trackbacks

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